What’s happening to me?

Life is strange when you’re a new mother.  I’m sure many new mothers will agree with me on this.  It’s very similar to being on a rollercoaster.  Some parts are fun, some are scary, and some are just confusingly unnecessary. Two and a half months after the birth of my third baby, it suddenly dawned on me.  When you’re a new mother (especially if you’re exclusively breastfeeding), you go into a deep dark hole.  It’s not that it’s a scary or an ugly place, it’s just that you’re alone (with the baby of course).  And in the aloneness, your emotions are on steroids.  Your highs are very high and your lows are very low.  One minute you’re ecstatic that your baby just smiled to you, and a few hours later you’re having suicidal thoughts due to the lack of sleep.  One minute you’re sweating hot and you’re turning all the air conditioners on in the house, and half an hour later you’re cold and making everyone wear sweaters!  It’s a crazy world to be in; but hey, after the third child I know that not only does it go by very quickly, but that I’ll also look back and wish I was present in the moment… so I’m really trying! It’s just that my moments are so erratic!

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